No not the Aussies, our government. I hate queues; banks, post-offices and similar places see me only when absolutely unavoidable. But in this country, even though you
bought passed a driving test (albeit long ago), every 5 years you need to go and renew the damn thing. Now the process begins, you search on the internet for the things you need to take along, but inevitably one thing always is missing, which means you need to turn around, drive back, get it and then fall into the back of the queue for the 2nd time.
Then comes the eye test. Just under 20 years ago I had the lasec operation on my eyes and they managed to tear the cornea on my right eye. Initially this meant that I needed to have a cornea transplant (which is mostly reserved for people that really need it), but later I found out it can be repaired. Never could I find the time to take a few days off work, but this year….. Anyhow… Previously I managed to guess correctly or guilt the eye-test operator into helping me, but this time they insisted I should go see an optometrist. Sighing I got into the car to go get a certificate, then back to the licensing department for a third time. Then comes another queue where they register the lot on the system and finally the payment queue.
10 years ago I also had a “mishap” in this queue, I got to the front(after guessing the direction of the E’s correctly) and the cashier just told me that she can’t issue the receipt as the system clearly states that I have no fingers on my left hand and only a thumb on my right. No matter how many times I held up my hands for her to see and to check that no scars exist to prove that I have someone else’s hands, she insisted that a commissioner of oaths should take my fingerprints to prove I have hands. How the hell they previously issued a drivers license to a person that can clearly not hold a steering wheel, was a question for another day.
In any case, back to today’s story. Today I finally went to fetch the drivers licence. Only 3 months late (which is a new record for me). My heart sank to my knees when I got there and saw about 150 people in the queue. Because I have high heels on (eish) and I’m blond, I feigned ignorance and walked to the front. When walking, I made sure that I walked just behind a very old man with a walking stick, so it looks as if I’m helping him or I’m with him (Strategies to follow when you don’t like queues). When I got to the official looking gatekeeper, he informed me that I must just stand in the short queue, a lady collects all the papers until all the seats in front of the counter are filled(so all 20 people wait until the last seat is filled), then walk to the back and after 15 minutes or so (in the non-airconned seats it feels like 2 hours), she calls your name and you have license in hand.
Sheep is what we are in this country and shagging of the sheep is what our government do best.