Whether we like it or not, terms and conditions are part of our life. Even in relationships, there are T’s&C’s. Sometimes they are regulated by an official agreement (marriage contract etc), but mostly the rules are made up as we go along. Rules also don’t mean only big things like thou shalt not lie or cheat, they also encompass the little things like who makes the coffee, or who cooks, who discipline the kids (or in our case, the dogs).
To be honest I’m a all-or-nothing type of girl, has always been. When I’m in a relationship I want to see the other person every day, I want to do everything with them, I don’t mind broadcasting my love to the world. Grim is much more reserved, much more of a lets-take-it-slow kind of guy. So throughout our relationship, it tend to be me who do the planning of what to do and where to go and him going along with it or sometimes asking me to go somewhere with him when he’s made plans already. This has worked well so far, but yesterday on our 2 month anniversary, I wanted to write a blog and started to think about what I should say. I then realised that every time this has moved forward, it has been me that initiated it. I changed our relationship status and he (with his kids’ help) approved, I’m the one saying I want to see you, he goes with the flow and sometimes makes comments like “Maybe a quiet night at home?”. I said that I’m willing to re-locate with him to his stand in De Rust, he didn’t ask me to. I even said to him that I would marry him one day, where-after he said that one day he would ask me.
Now I can’t help but wonder if I’m pushing too hard. I know that he is currently in the process of moving house. Moving out of the house him and his previous partner designed, built and lived in together. Not only is it a busy time for him, but he also needs to deal with the emotions of ending an era. On top of this, his kids are giving him all sorts of trouble. And the cherry on top (no pun intended) is me demanding some attention and reassurance. I realise all this, but can’t help the emotional roller-coaster I just can’t get off.
Am I again over-thinking this? Over-analyzing the “Thank you for the friendship and incredible journey” comment which didn’t contain a public “I love you”? Where can I change the T’s & C’s?
So I’m giving him space, not pushing anymore, hard as it is for me, driver that I am. Waiting until he takes the initiative. Is this the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning? Only time will tell