Stem in my kop

Die date was great en die eerste soen was asembenewend lekker. Ons het weer soos laas ure en ure omgepraat. Daar is regtig die keer ‘n konneksie.

Nou siende dat ek nogal gereeld my dinkwerk in die bad doen, lê ek vanoggend en dink: Ek moet seker met hom praat oor die afgelope 9 maande se shenanigans? Nou wat sal ek sê? En dan is hy nog Engels ook, so ek beter my gedagtes agter mekaar kry. Ek dink dit sal iets wees soos:

You know I’ve now been divorced for 9 months? And it has certainly been a time of growth for me, but being single for the 1st time in my life was also challenging. I told the 1st guy I dated that I don’t do sex without love and he bolted, the next convinced me that we were both adults, but ran shortly after the act was completed. From there on in I basically decided not to ever get my heart involved. For the longest time I used sex (and by implication men) to get a relationship, keep a relationship, as a power tool and as a way to prove to myself that I’m still desirable. I used the sex test to determine if a guy is good enough for a relationship but if they let themselves be seduced, I immediately lost all respect and not long and it would be over. With you it’s different, I actually want to wait. I know already that this is going to be long term and I don’t want you to love me, because we’re having sex. I want you to have sex with me because you love me. And that it wouldn’t matter if it’s good or bad (good would be a bonus) we’ll continue to have sex because we love each other. So until we know that we love each other unconditionally, no sex.

Ek dink dis wat ek wil sê en hoe. Nou moet hy net hier uitkom sodat die draaie in my maag kan bedaar. Wag, hy’s hier

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8 thoughts on “Stem in my kop

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